A whopping 82% of Brits feel socially awkward every single day.
This research might not come as much of a surprise to some. If avoiding eye-contact with strangers on public transport were an Olympic sport, the UK would likely find a way to sweep all three medals.
But there appears to be one particular everyday act of kindness that sends British awkwardness into overdrive.
Holding the door open for someone is undoubtedly the polite thing to do. And in most cases, it’s a pretty seamless transaction – a quick ‘thank you’ or a small head nod and you’re both on your way.
The problems arise when you spot a stranger on the horizon, heading towards the very same door. They’re still a good 10 metres away. So, what do you do? Do you hold the door open and wait, forcing them into an ‘awkward little jog’, or do you abandon your station and keep moving?
I can’t stand when people do this…
Despite good intentions, users on social media have not held back when it comes to sharing just how much they ‘hate’ this awkward interaction.
One of the biggest gripes is the fact that when someone holds a door open for you while you’re still a good 10 to 15 steps away, so you suddenly find yourself having to rush to meet them.
On TikTok, hundreds of users complain that the ‘awkward hop’ or ‘little run’ is undoubtedly the thing they dread the most, with @GordonFlowers actually referring to it as the ‘ultimate humiliation ritual’.
There’s also the fear that your knight in shining armour (clearly gunning for an OBE) will then feel obligated to hold open every subsequent door for you.
When that happens, the awkwardness gets dialled up to 100.
Underneath one video, @Liamthompson pointed out that it’s at this stage you realise ‘there has to be a different kind of thanks for each door’.
‘It goes from “Thank you!” to “Thanks” to “Cheers” to “Ta”, and then it just becomes “Mhmm”, and then just nods,’ @digiwelsh adds.
On Reddit, in a rather heated thread discussing what a socially acceptable distance might be, @compositor88 shared: ‘I can’t stand when someone opens the door for me and I’m so freaking far away.
‘Why are you standing there? Go inside!!! Quit trying to make me walk faster. Don’t make me feel bad for making you stand there! Once again, this was your choice not mine!’
The Redditor went on to add that sometime they purposefully ‘slow down’ out of pure rage.
There are, of course, some Brits who try to look at things more objectively.
‘It was their choice to hold the door. You’re not a hostage, so no need for jogging or hopping, just walk through the door at your normal pace,’ @apprehensiveice notes.
Others actually get a thrill out of the experience. Blaise Kelly, 27, for example tells Metro that she personally ‘loves the attention’.
‘I love it when people hold the door for me, even if I’m far away. It gives them more time to appreciate my outfit – makes the pavement feel like a catwalk.’
Then there’s Katharine Swindells, 29, who does her best to sprinkle some fun into the ‘awkward jog.’
‘Our office has a long corridor between the toilets and the office door so this happens to me every day. To make it more fun, I’ve developed a variety of bits including one where I sprint full pelt towards the person holding the door for me,’ she tells Metro.
How far is too far away to hold the door open for someone?
According to @Tyree on Reddit, if someone is further than ‘8.5 feet’ away from you, you shouldn’t hold the door open for them.
Described by another user as ‘the perfect answer’, @heekma added ‘Or, I’d say about two seconds. Three is too long.’
‘Two seconds is just long enough to be polite, not long enough to be awkward.’
If you’re looking at it from a steps perspective, @necessarycouple chalks it down to approximately ‘three to four steps’ away from the door. Any further, and you should just let it swing shut.
Is this actually awkward? Or are we just being dramatic?
Unlike some of the more opinionated individuals online, etiquette expert Laura Windsor personally doesn’t understand why anyone would find this ‘polite mannerism’ anxiety-inducing.
‘There should be no reason at all why it should be uncomfortable if someone opens the door for you. If people find it awkward, it’s their problem,’ she tells Metro.
A ‘courteous action’ that is 100% ‘British’, Laura can empathise with the fact that if someone is incredibly far away, making them rush can of course create an awkward moment.
But, if you do find yourself in this position (holding a door handle for so long your wrist starts to shake) Laura simply recommends ‘smiling at the person walking towards you, in recognition of the fact that you know that you’d like to keep door open for them, but because they’re so far away, you don’t want them to rush.’
Psychologists at Stanford University have indicated that smiling can be a helpful way for humans to regulate uncomfortable emotions, such as anxiety or embarrassment. So, this argument does hold weight.
Whether you’ll actually have the guts to make eye contact and flash them a grin, of course, is another matter entirely.