The word “compromise” often carries a negative connotation in our assertive society. Yet it actually contains two meanings: one being less than it was, and the other being the art of navigating and negotiating the best way forward. This fascinating word was the inspiration behind my recent Classical Music Explorations performance, and the artistic process gave me new insights into how I can upgrade the way I process life situations.
Cultivate Musical Mindfulness to Find More Agency
How well we use our innate gifts of curiosity, consciousness, and creativity to find a compromise in times of constraint is not a matter of luck but the fruit of a consistent cultivation of skills. When we regularly listen to music that was written as a conscious communication, a part of the humanities, we become more adept at finding multiple points of engagement with each life circumstance.
Contrary to the instant results promised by consumerism, lasting mindfulness takes a long time to develop. It changes the person, not just the circumstance. In psychology, this may be called cognitive restructuring. In religion, spiritual formation. In piano skills, proficiency and artistry. In composition, craftsmanship. In a relationship, emotional maturity. These fruits come from efforts to compromise one's current desires for a greater good.
Compromising Is Essential in Composing a Meaningful Life
One of the greatest threats to our survival—in this age of entangled communications and complex systems—is our rigidity in not accepting anything less than our ideals. It may sound heroic in a storybook, but in modern life, not compromising can lead to acting against one’s own interests and letting a single issue create a blind spot in the bigger reality.
Our ability to find self-awareness and our agency to act on it will determine our ability to maintain relationships, family units, a nation, and even our existence as a species on this planet. In this world, we find compromise in thorny issues that are “49/51”—full of complexity. (This is referencing the TV show "The Diplomat," season 1, among other sources.) Moving forward depends on choosing a lesser evil when we can’t have an ideal choice.
Allow Multiple Responses to Unfold Over Time
Attending to concert music can be an artistic process if we are discovering layers and angles as the music unfolds. We find the compromise of what to focus on among a multitude of stimuli.
As I grappled with the topic of "The Compromise of Space," which was also the name of my performance involving three favorite pieces, I discovered three choices of action when I feel compromised, compressed, or constrained.
- Option 1: Share my space (Bach-Siloti: "Prelude in B minor"): In music, a composer can diminish the distance between notes in a chord (vertical grouping of notes) to express compression. In times of sorrow, we feel constrained in what we are able to do. But at the same time, we are more likely to let go of masks and expectations, which is required for bonding and sharing our space with others. The sense of camaraderie formed in authentic vulnerability is much stronger than the bonds formed between “fine-weather friends.” (This phrase refers to Lucy Maud Montgomery’s beloved book Anne of Green Gables.)
- Option 2: Claim my space (Brandon Vaccaro: "Insomnia"): In music, when the composer uses harmony or textures to build tension, the release might not be a resolution but a sudden change in direction with a new chord, or the entrance of a new melody. It is a call to action, a way to claim the moment. The climax is just as much a psychological revelation that something is possible as any actual physical change. With insomnia, we can claim our moment and space in a literal way by going to a different room or deciding to stay awake for a while.
- Option 3: Find more space (Schubert-Liszt: "Du Bist die Ruh"): In music, creating sweep and scope requires a performer to use breath and imagination, two elements that are equally important for responding in real time to real life.
Try One of These 1-Minute Exercises
- Look up into eternity and infinity, or to the farthest and highest corner of your room. Include your peripheral vision. It helps to start at a physically expansive environment like a concert hall or an outdoor park. Can you let your guard down so you can share this space?
- Vertically anchor in opposition with your feet down into the ground. Feel the natural heaviness of your tailbone. In opposition, lift the crown of your head while listening to your favorite music (in your head or on a device). Where is the peak of each phrase? Can you find a little extra space in your lungs to claim that moment?
- Horizontally expand your ribcage. Extend arms with air underneath, allowing the surrounding air to support you. Inhale horizontally across your ears, where numerous nerves are located. Where is the longest note of each phrase? Can you broaden your inhale to find more space? More ways to negotiate the best way forward?