Jamie Oliver's wife Jools reveals she's been diagnosed with autism and ADHD as she opens up about her decision to 'come out' after it 'ruined 45 years of her life'

Jamie Oliver's wife Jools has revealed she has been diagnosed with autism and ADHD, describing how she 'came out' to friends about her condition after it 'ruined' her life for decades.

The mother-of-five, 51, said she has been prescribed medication for her attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but is too frightened to take it because of her anxiety.

Her TV chef husband Jamie, 51, disclosed last year that she was neurodivergent, but this is the first time Jools has spoken publicly about it and confirmed her specific diagnoses.

Speaking on the latest episode of the Lessons From Our Mothers podcast, Jools said she discovered she had ADHD 'about four years ago'.

She added: 'I've got the medication, but I don't want to take it because I'm scared due to health anxiety that something will happen. It's just one ongoing situation.

'But we found out a couple of our children had autism. So then I thought, "my god, that sounds like me". So I went for that. I've got that as well.'

Jools, who runs children's clothing brand Little Bird, said she spent much of her life struggling without understanding why.

She said of her ADHD: 'I just think it's quite draining. I think it's tiring. I think actually it's ruined, so far, 45 years of my life thinking it's something else. It's no superpower. It's just a drain and it's just really hard work.'

Jools shares five children with Jamie, her husband of 26 years, including Poppy, 24, Daisy, 23, Petal, 17, Buddy, 16, and River, ten.

She admitted she recently told Poppy not to visit with her fiancé, Ben Newman, because she was worried she wouldn't be able to cope with so many people in the house.

'She said to me, "please can I come home this weekend, mum?" I went, "well, I'll be honest, we've got a party. I'm going to be overwhelmed. I've got ADHD, you know, I've got lots of issues".

'And she's like, "fine, get it, not coming home". I think I said, "I love you dearly, but I don't need any more mouths to feed".

'They just love being around us. I don't know why, because sometimes I'm difficult.'

Despite the difficulties, Jools said her diagnoses have helped her better understand herself and her children.

She explained: 'There's such a bond in understanding with the ones that do have autism because I can go, "yeah, I get you". I got it. I understand completely.'

Jools admitted she initially struggled to recognise the signs of ADHD in her daughter, Daisy, who once had to seek emergency medical help for the condition.

'I was like, "what's wrong with you? What is ADHD?"' Jools recalled. 'She took herself off to A&E because she didn't know what was wrong with her. And I went, "what are you doing at A&E?" Because I just didn't believe her.'

Daisy, who was approaching her GCSEs at the time, had been experiencing emotional highs and lows and was unable to concentrate on her schoolwork.

'She was told at school that she probably wouldn't amount to much. And literally, she's done the opposite of that,' Jools said.

'She couldn't revise, she couldn't focus. She just felt extremely different to everyone else. And then, of course, got the diagnosis. We gave her the medication and she literally flew.'

Jools said she still struggles with the intensity of her own emotions and questioned whether some of her difficulties could also be linked to the menopause.

'I just feel things so deeply,' she said. 'I get so dramatic over things and I can be really up and down. And the empathy sometimes is painful.'

'I don't know whether that's just a personality choice. Sometimes you don't even know, or is it just the menopause? Am I just going through the menopause and I'm really going bonkers?

'I think when you do have neurodiversity, menopause is a double nightmare.'

She also revealed she suffers from social anxiety, despite having spent years giving people the impression she is outgoing.

'I used to say, "oh, it's because, you know, I've broken my leg". But now I just go, "I just don't think I can do it because I'm really scared in social situations",' she said.

Ahead of her birthday party last year, Jools decided to stop hiding her difficulties with socialising, using her invitation to encourage friends to be honest about whether they wanted to attend.

'My 50th birthday invite, I decided to come out,' she said. '"Jamie, I'm going to tell everyone that I'm not normal because I put on such a great act of being really like, woo, and so social. In fact, it's like my worst night. I'm such an introvert".'

She explained that she told guests they could decline the invitation without making excuses, leave without saying goodbye and even turn up in their pyjamas.

'A lot of people didn't come and were turned off, but I just thought, well, this is me. I'm afraid this is the new 50. This is it.'

Jools also described how her constant worrying about her children leaves her exhausted.

'All I do is worry. I worry from the moment I wake up at three in the morning and to the moment I wake up again at six,' she said.

'I don't know how to stop the worrying. I don't know. Maybe drugs. Maybe I should take the medication.'

Jamie discussed his wife's neurodivergence on Davina McCall's Begin Again podcast last year, saying she had 'neurodiversities that make her life really interesting and really challenging'.

Jamie told Davina: 'She's quite in the background and she's done that on purpose. She's definitely the rock.

'She's got incredible instinct, she's incredibly kind, very funny. I love her to bits. I can't really talk for her but she has neurodiversities that make her life really interesting and really challenging.

'Of course there's positives, but there's loads of things that, you know – she makes us the way that we are. And I'm very grateful for Jools… and an amazing mum.' 

He also told The Sunday Times how he and Jools discuss their children in bed each night and have 'learnt to understand that their behaviour is because they're seeing things differently'.  

He added that being aware of their children's differences 'allows you to be a better parent'.

And amid the conditions affecting many members of his family, Jamie went on to joke that home life is 'bonkers', saying: 'Imagine four neurodiverse people at the dinner table trying to get their point across.'

Jamie also went on to say that he feels attitudes towards neurodivergence are generational, noting that 'older people' tend to reflect on not having these issues 'when they were young'.

He countered that people 'didn’t know as much about our brains 30 years ago'. 

Jamie, who is dyslexic, said how he was called 'stupid dunce' at school and his learning issues left him feeling 'worthless, stupid and thick'.

Dyslexia is a common learning difficulty that causes problems with reading, writing and spelling and difficulties with processing.