An advert depicting an elderly kissing their granddaughter has been removed from TV, at the request of the Irish government.
The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC) released the video, as part of the organisation’s long-term campaign We-Consent. It depicts a young girl looking uncomfortable as she receives a hug and a kiss from her grandparents.
The advertisement, which has been scrubbed from the DRCC’s social media channels, also featured the tagline: ‘Not everyone wants a hug. Even from the people who love them.’
While the DRCC’s objective appeared clear to many — to inform, educate, and engage the public about all forms of consent — the video was not well-received by a number of Irish politicians.
One particularly vocal critic was Minister for Justice Jim O’Callaghan, who labelled the video ‘both inappropriate and demeaning’ to grandparents.
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O’Callaghan, whose department is one of the primary sources of funding for the We-Consent campaign, was quick to emphasise that the video did ‘not represent the views of the government’.
Adding that while ‘it is vital to ensure that people understand the concept of consent when it comes to sexual relationships’, the official went as far as to say that the video was, in many ways, ‘counterproductive’.
How did the public react to the video?
Within 24 hours of the video going live, it had already received a lot of backlash.
Across social media, users labelled the message ‘disgusting’ and ‘sick’, while others called on the team behind the video to be ‘fired’.
Others, however, argued that the ad’s purpose wasn’t to portray grandparents as predators, but to remind the public that consent ‘begins at home’.
One user, @aineb100, pointed out how ‘we have to give children space and language to talk about people we assume are safe.’
Amelia Handy, head of policy & public affairs at Rape Crisis England & Wales, shared a similar sentiment with Metro: ‘Children’s voices are often unheard and marginalised in conversations about things that deeply affect them.
‘Yet if we want them to feel able to speak up when something makes them uncomfortable, recognise when a boundary has been crossed, and trust their instincts, those lessons need to begin early.’
Amelia went on to say that Rape Crisis England & Wales ‘welcome effortsto encourage greater understanding of consent, boundaries, and bodily autonomy from an early age,’ adding that they ‘do not believe that recognising a child’s right to assert bodily autonomy is demeaning to anyone.’
Metro approached DRCC for comment.
Why are we prioritising the feelings of adults?
Trauma coach Niamh Ryan tells Metro that when she first saw the DRCC campaign video, she thought it was ‘incredibly progressive and remarkably well done.’
‘It articulated something I have spent a long time trying to teach, that consent isn’t just about saying no in a sexual or intimate scenario. It begins in these small everyday moments.’
For Niamh, the minister’s comments about the video suggest that ‘we are making the feelings of adults more important than the safety and autonomy of children.’
Niamh works with a number of women who still struggle to communicate and maintain both emotional and physical boundaries. She says a lot of the time these difficulties can be traced back to childhood.
‘When we force a child to give a hug they don’t want to give, to perform affection they don’t want, or to stay quiet about their discomfort so that a grandparent isn’t upset, we send a very clear message: your feelings do not matter as much as ours.
‘A child who is taught that their boundaries matter learns something profound: the emotional regulation of other people is not their responsibility.’
Older generations who’ve criticised the campaign are likely coming from a place of discomfort, Niamh argues: ‘They were raised in a culture of image, of respecting elders without question, of doing as you were told for the sake of the family.
‘So when consent is introduced as a concept, it doesn’t land as education, it lands as an attack which is exactly the response we have seen.’
Ultimately, Niamh says the DRCC campaign was never about saying grandparents can’t hug their grandchildren, it was about sharing that when a child says no, we respect it.
‘This is not a conversation about rejection, it’s a conversation about love.’
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