Collin Woodard/Jalopnik
It's hard to explain what it feels like to own a motorcycle that's truly special. For those who aren't aware, I recently bought a 2019 Husqvarna Svartpilen 701 — a KTM wearing sleek Swedish design, packing the largest-displacement single-cylinder engine on the market, and featuring several of the same logos you'll find on some very nice chainsaws. You can find faster bikes, and you can probably find cooler bikes, but nothing other than maybe the KTM 690 Duke rides quite like it. Personally, I think the Svartpilen 701 looks good enough to buy it purely for the design, but the riding experience is pretty unique, too.
As I mentioned when I bought the bike, as much as I love almost everything about my 4,000-mile chainsaw bike, it does have one flaw. Unfortunately for me, that flaw is the previous owner's taste in mods. Some of them are aesthetic, which isn't ideal, but those don't mess with my riding experience all that much. You know what does mess with my riding experience? The stupid aftermarket exhaust they stuck on here. It's ugly, yes, but even worse, it sounds like poop from a butt. I can't truly enjoy the most exciting thing the universe has ever blessed me with the opportunity to own, because every time I ride it, the stupid exhaust note just makes me mad again.
Health insurance should cover it
Collin Woodard/Jalopnik
At least I have a credit card, and one (or possibly two, because my life can never be simple) replacement exhaust is headed to my apartment, complete with everything I should need to install it in the parking lot. Theoretically, I could resell the crap exhaust, but doing that feels wrong. It's not like it's some $100 AliExpress exhaust; Delkevic is a real company that charges at least $250 for this exhaust. For like $60 more, the previous owner could have had a much better exhaust, but no. They cheaped out, and now I must suffer.
While I figure out what to do with a dirty paperweight that's probably worth at least $100 but deserves to be crushed, it's important to remember that misery loves company. I want to hear about the dumb decisions the previous owner made on your car. The mods or mistakes that make you wish you could find them in Minecraft, take them to Minecraft Mexico, and then beat their digital character senseless (in Minecraft). What did the previous owner do to your car that still makes your blood boil? Whatever it is, let us know about it down in the comments.