Nothing like flying to trigger a bunch of phobias

Among my many phobias, the fear of heights is the weirdest. I only have to look at someone standing near a sheer drop to break out in a sweat and feel my legs turn to jelly. Even old photos of unharnessed workers building skyscrapers make me feel queasy.

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Yet, I'll happily jump on an aircraft and watch a storm light up the clouds thousands of feet below. In the metal cocoon of an Airbus or Boeing, it's not the height that scares me.

It's the fellow passengers.

The close confinement that keeps my acrophobia at bay triggers other fears.

The terrors start with the percussive cough a row or two behind me. Before we've even pushed back, it's insistent and alarming and way too close for comfort. All sorts of exotic diseases come to mind, their spore dispersed into the cabin with every hack. I shrink into my seat as the tussaphobia takes hold, followed closely by irrational thanatophobia - or fear of fatal disease.

It's entirely irrational because the air on aircraft is much cleaner than what I've inhaled in the airport. It's recirculated every two to three minutes and passed through hospital-grade HEPA filters, which trap most of the nasties.

For some reason the announcement that we're almost ready for take-off is a cue for passengers to leap up from their seats, open the overhead locker that's just been closed by the cabin crew, and fidget for some absolutely essential item they should have retrieved much earlier. It takes a mountain of self-control not to scream "Just sit down!"

If I'm unlucky enough to sit next to a fidgeter who either cracks their knuckles, jiggles their legs or obsessively twirls their hair, a bout of misokinesia - the intense aversion to fidgeting - is inevitable. Again, it's entirely irrational given the poor person fidgeting, unlike me, most likely hates flying.

That's probably why they insist on using their mobile phones to send texts and post on social media well after they've been told to switch to flight mode. Their aerophobia brings on unbearable nomophobia - no mobile phobia, that dread of digital disconnection - which might also explain their fidgeting.

Thankfully, once we've taken off and reached cruising altitude, the phobias retreat and the flight settles into its rhythm. Books are read, movies are watched and eventually the meal service arrives. The cabin lights are dimmed, window shades come down and sleep beckons.

But, just as I'm nodding off it starts up again. That gravelly bark from behind, even more intrusive now the cabin is hushed. Etiquette means I can't open the window shade and seek distraction in the view. The only option is to put the supplied headphones back on and choose a movie with lots of car chases and explosions just to drown out the noise.

And for next time invest in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

Does flying make you anxious? Is it the flight itself or the other passengers? Picture by Canva.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you enjoy flying? What are the most annoying habits of fellow air passengers? Do you suffer from any phobias? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

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THEY SAID IT: "The time to worrying about flying is when you're on the ground. When you're up in the air, it's too late. No point in worrying about it then." - Denzel Washington

YOU SAID IT: Australia is awash with Chinese car brands, many of which have nonsensical names.

"Then there was a time that someone tried to sell the Nova to Mexicans," writes Maggie. "To them it sounded like It doesn't go."

Mick writes: " Ah, the inscrutability of the Chinese. Yes, its badge in stylised script reads as BYD but next time you have one behind you take a look in your rear vision mirror. It reads CYE. For the paranoid Reds Under The Beds brigade out there, China Yearns Everything!"

"I recall a Punch article long ago which opined dangerous speeding could be curtailed by restrictions on model names," writes Ray. "It proposed 'Dobbin' instead of 'Charger' and suggested 'Quinquagesima' as worthy of consideration. But not 'Sexagesima' which could be misunderstood."

Stephanie writes: "Having spent most of my working life in the car industry both in the UK and Australia I'm totally with you on the car name thing. Back in 1984, Ford UK launched a car called the Ford Orion, named after a 'heavenly body' yet pretty it wasn't and it didn't last long. You mentioned Chery which sounds more like a lady of ill repute than a car but in tune with modern technology, when you want to change the temperature of the cabin you can simply press a button on the steering wheel and say 'Hey Chery' and it reacts. That has to be better than 'Hey BYD', and I've just ordered one!"

"I've been a close follower of the car industry for many decades," writes Allan. "In the 1950s we had stodgy, reliable British brands. Then since the 1960s we have successively experienced the waves of Japanese, Korean and Chinese imports. Each of the foreign brands has initially been greeted with suspicion and scepticism by our motoring public, until suddenly they weren't. Think Toyota, Hyundai and BYD as prime examples. Quality, innovation and value have prevailed and sales have boomed - goodbye Holden and Ford. The explosion of Chinese car sales in just the past two to three years has been unprecedented, led by BYD and super charged by the switch to EVs and value for money. However, it'll be a long time before you see me in something called a Chery!"

David's brother-in-law was a Holden fan: "He told me FORD stood either for Found On a Rubbish Dump or Fix Or Repair Daily. But I bet you already knew that. I ditched the Malibu diesel after a valve only found in a diesel car needed replacing and then replacing again at over $1000 per replacement. Driving a Toyota Corolla. It goes."

"I have a Mercedes. that is 15 years old," writes Arthur. "The only thing which wears out are the tyres. That is the reason why I am not in the market for a new car, Chinese or otherwise."

Judy writes: "Like John, I gravitate toward recognised brands in most big purchases. Currently, and for the last 30 years, it's been a Subaru, with sensible model names like Liberty , Forester and XV. Nissan made a blue when they rebranded the Pulsar as Tiida. Despite that, we bought one for my mother."

"I can remember a Ford executive saying that devising car model names was one of the most thankless tasks on the planet," writes Adam. "It is always a juggling act to find something that evokes an emotional response, but that is also inoffensive. I recently bought a Kia Picanto, and if you'd said to me 10 years ago that I'd buy any type of Kia, I would have laughed. However, they are affordable, economical, and feature a huge array of technology and a long warranty. Perhaps my favourite car make and model came from Japan in 1961. It was the Cony Guppy, an almost pocket-sized ute that made original Mini look enormous."

Phil writes: "I used to love driving my dad's Mark I Escort, even though it was clearly the name of a sex worker."

"The MGB was quite a car and I enjoyed my few years with one but no way could one get a baby seat into it," writes Jim, who now drives a BYD. "A friend in New Zealand, now 91, showed us his and let us drive it. Good handling, comfortable and with fierce acceleration and now we own its twin. Easy to drive, packed with features and granny charged except when on the open road and never a case of range anxiety but maybe more dubious coffee than really needed at roadside stops. Quite likely our last car and its three sessions at the dealer had nothing unexpected, merely the planned services."

Murray writes: "If I found myself looking at a new car it would probably be Japanese rather than Chinese. Some of the Chinese cars are nice, and I'm sure they are good, but I am a bit old fashioned. I don't know if I want my car building a file on my movements and whereabouts which can be downloaded by a person or people unknown. My old Commodore has wind up windows. And a CD player. I'm pretty certain it isn't telling tales about me behind my back."

Pope's view ...

Nothing like flying to trigger a bunch of phobias

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