My 14-year-old daughter said last night: “When I grow up, I want my house to look exactly like our house does now – or maybe I’ll just never move out!”
Fine with me. I can’t think of anything more fun than sharing a house with my kids, even when they’re grown up. Why would I want them to leave?
When do you imagine your children will move out, making you an “empty nester”? If you’re looking at the latest census, then you’ll know that it is (on average) when they’re 24. A decade ago that point came at 21.
In fact, according to the most recent data from the Office for National Statistics, 35 per cent of men and 22 per cent of women between the ages of 20 and 34 were registered as still living with their parents in 2025.
Much of this is due, no doubt, to the eyewatering costs of housing – and a lack of access to both affordable first homes and private rentals. Being able to find affordable rents at all, in fact, is not only extremely tricky, but the whole idea itself utterly laughable in places like London, where the average cost is approximately £2,300 per month.
Against the gnarly backdrop of austerity, the cost of living crisis, increasingly climactic climate events and (count them) at least three global wars pushing up the prices at the pumps, my personal view is that the only realistic option is for parents like me to suck it up and bear the brunt and have our kids living with us for longer.
Which, I’ll be honest, I’d welcome. Especially as my children moving out would mean them leaving the comfort of home to jettison to some grotty bedsit or studio flat.
How could I sleep at night if I knew that on insisting they “leave the nest” to exert some independence (or to return mine), it would thrust them into a position of long-term financial insecurity and poor health because they can’t afford the heating; or see them subsist on a diet of instant noodles and packets of custard, because they can’t afford to shop at supermarkets – where a box of cereal can set you back £4.50?
We have yet to see if the Prime Minister’s Budget will throw up any rewards for families and young people this week, but in the meantime, our kids are growing up in a Britain that feels bleak, uncertain and worryingly expensive. It is even more so for Gen Z and Gen Alpha, who’ll be facing the mess we’ve made of both our domestic politics and the planet for much longer than any of us will.
And given the climate destruction we’ve contributed to – along with our boomer parents – I don’t think it’s too much to ask that we step up and help them for longer than we might have once expected. In fact, I’d say we owe it to them.
And it’s not just me who enjoys living with their children. I have a close friend who still has all three of her kids living with her, with no plans to move out – and they’re already in their twenties. They cook, eat, clean and watch TV together on the sofa. They take turns in doing the washing up and check in on each other when they’re due home. They each contribute what they can to the rent (according to their means) and share out the costs of shopping.
Maybe this is the benefit of modern, “gentle” parenting – being mates with your kids. In that way, you can transcend the usual trajectory of “fleeing the nest” and simply transition into being a shared household, made up of adults who truly enjoy spending time together.
I can only speak for myself, but I like my kids so much as people that of course I would want them as housemates, too.